Only a mothe r could love this liver
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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