The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I need moral support for this bender
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
