Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Randomize
