i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
