he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize