white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
3 2 1 whiskey
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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