im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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