the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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