Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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