No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
