You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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