I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
