Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
