yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize