Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I need water and some morals
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize