Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
