If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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