she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
