I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
