I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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