R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Even my vagina gasped.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
