I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
