So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
she smelled like a LAN party
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
