i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize