i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize