Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
