I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
