I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
