It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
