Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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