I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
