I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
