Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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