theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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