I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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