I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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