No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
