You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
