just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
