Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
