the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize