oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
is it fun? or sober?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
