It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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