I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
