I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Randomize
