And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize