when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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