Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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