in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
