yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
