I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
