If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
