Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
