I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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