I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
