I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
