ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
